Week 12

Sometimes the simplest thing, is so hard to do
As a parent, I find myself constantly reiterating the old adage, "If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all." The golden rule, 'treat others as you would like to be treated' is strategically taped beside the breakfast nook as a morning reminder. These are simple rules to live by, but I wonder why it is so difficult for people to follow such basic and civil tenants. Recently, the leader of our bible study class moved back to the USA and is in the process of repatriation. Since none of us felt confident enough to run the bible study group, we decided to play to the strengths of the remaining group members, and began to search for a new direction to take the group. The new/old group is now called NOSSA which is an acronym for kNowing, Others, Self, Strengths, Awareness. In Portuguese, the term “nossa”, is also used when you want to say “wow." Our mission statement is as follows; In a chaotic city such as Sao Paulo, combined with the ever changing life as a expat family, this group offers an avenue for tranquil introspection. We meet weekly to focus on self-exploration, awareness and spirituality. The direction of the group is to identify inspirational paths. Lectures, readings, discussions and meditation are used to further discover and empower our members. It is our desire to create an atmosphere of POSITIVE ENERGY AND THINKING, to be used throughout daily life. This is quite an undertaking if you think that it is human nature to complain, to feel like you are getting the short end of the stick, and to think that maybe the grass is greener on the other side. The first piece of literature the group will study is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I would like to share these four simple agreements with you, in hopes that we can all take some time to reflect on how they might fit in to your life. They are simple agreements that for decades, mothers and fathers around the world have been trying to instill in their children. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, communication broke down bringing evils such as; negativity, anger, jealousy, hatred, war and greed. Imagine for a moment, a world where we all lived by the following agreements. Agreement one; be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. We should listen twice as much as we speak, that is why God made us with two ears and one mouth. Profound, yes? Pretty simple, but tough to do. Agreement two; Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. You are responsible for your own destiny. Only you have control of how you will react or not react to a situation. This is something that I am trying to infuse in Alexa (now 11 years old) while she is entering the age of peer pressure and influence. Thankfully, she still has time to learn that when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of endless suffering. Agreement three; Don’t make assumptions. Ruiz implores his readers to communicate clearly with others to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Agreement Four; Always do your best. Is this not what we all learn from an early age? Whether learning to walk, talk or read, words of encouragement are whispered, 'Keep it up, 'Well done,' 'You can do it.' When your eight year old is stressed out about the upcoming math test, you say “Just do your best.” When you are running the first 5km race of your life, you think, “I just want to finish.” If we consider simply doing our best in every situation we will avoid self-judgment, self abuse and regret. Think about all the things that give you stress in your life. Many of these stressors are caused by outside sources that we have no control over. The only certainty is that we control our own destiny. By truly living and believing in these four very straightforward agreements, one can live a more fulfilled and peaceful life. This is just a little reminder of something we already know, the trick is putting into unwaivering practice.

If I had my life to live over

Week 11-If I had my life to live over
Thursday afternoon, 16:30 Sao Paulo, a city of 22 million people, bad things are going to happen, it is inevitable. My friend, Elizabeth and I were sitting at a red light, chatting about motherhood and how crazy it can be trying to keep track of everything that happens in a day, hour, minute! Suddenly, to the left of us, four police officers stormed into the nearby luncheonette, yelling ferociously, with guns flailing in the air. Three quick “pops” and two police officers left the snack bar, one supporting the other, with a wound to his left shoulder. I saw death, flash before my eyes! In a single second, life could be over. I ask myself, have I lived it? Truly done what I wanted to? Said what I wanted to say? Been who I want to be? Thankfully, I can say yes, to these deep questions. In the blink of an eye, drop of a pen, a split second…over. “How morbid”, one might say.”Too scary to think of” another thinks to them self. On the contrary my friends, when faced with the idea of death or dying we tend to examine the life that we live. If today was your last day on earth, would you feel fulfilled? If you answered “no”, to this question, then ask yourself, “What do I need to do in order to feel contentment?” You have the power to change your path. Only you can identify what needs to be modified to feel you are living life to the fullest! Carpe e diem! I will leave you this week with thoughts from Erma Bombeck, these words were written after she found out she was dying from cancer.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.look at it and really see it . . live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

If you don't mind, send this on to all the women you are grateful to have as friends.
Maybe we should all grab that purple hat earlier.
Please send this to five phenomenal women today in celebration of Beautiful Women's Month.

If you do, something good will happen--you will boost another woman's self esteem.

Clear the Air

Week 10

When I think of the saying “clear the air” I visualize a disagreement between two parties, and the value of forging a strong relationship built on two-way communication. This entry, however, is not related to resolving a quarrel, but rather, the importance of having plants share your home. Did you know that having houseplants can make people feel more optimistic and calmer? House plants have also been known to decrease fatigue, coughs and sore throats. This makes sense since plants clean impurities from the air. All of the above health benefits will also come in handy when you are figuratively trying to “clear the air”. The next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, surround yourself with green and take deep cleansing breaths. Kathy, a very close friend, told me that green is the colour of your heart chakra which connects your physical and spiritual world. Opening the heart chakra allows a person to love, empathize and feel compassion. One day I was complaining to Kathy about feeling warn out and tired and she advised me go outside and sit in a park and surround myself with nature, because green is life. Green signifies growth, renewal and health. As I sat cross legged in the green space at our condominium, I was amazed at the transformation of my feeling. As I looked up at the palms, swaying in the breeze, I was at peace. I was also thinking what a first-rate job those palms were doing at removing the airborne toxins of the 22 million people who call Sao Paulo home. Thankfully palms are also known for adding up to one liter of moisture to the air per day. After thinking about the benefits of house plants, I was curious to know how many house plants it would take to “clear the air”. I found out that it is recommended to have 15 to 18 house plants for an 1800 square-foot (580m) house. I don’t think that my two sad looking ivy plants are cutting it. Next stop, the greenhouse!

Have a great weekend friends!