Week 12

Sometimes the simplest thing, is so hard to do
As a parent, I find myself constantly reiterating the old adage, "If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all." The golden rule, 'treat others as you would like to be treated' is strategically taped beside the breakfast nook as a morning reminder. These are simple rules to live by, but I wonder why it is so difficult for people to follow such basic and civil tenants. Recently, the leader of our bible study class moved back to the USA and is in the process of repatriation. Since none of us felt confident enough to run the bible study group, we decided to play to the strengths of the remaining group members, and began to search for a new direction to take the group. The new/old group is now called NOSSA which is an acronym for kNowing, Others, Self, Strengths, Awareness. In Portuguese, the term “nossa”, is also used when you want to say “wow." Our mission statement is as follows; In a chaotic city such as Sao Paulo, combined with the ever changing life as a expat family, this group offers an avenue for tranquil introspection. We meet weekly to focus on self-exploration, awareness and spirituality. The direction of the group is to identify inspirational paths. Lectures, readings, discussions and meditation are used to further discover and empower our members. It is our desire to create an atmosphere of POSITIVE ENERGY AND THINKING, to be used throughout daily life. This is quite an undertaking if you think that it is human nature to complain, to feel like you are getting the short end of the stick, and to think that maybe the grass is greener on the other side. The first piece of literature the group will study is called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I would like to share these four simple agreements with you, in hopes that we can all take some time to reflect on how they might fit in to your life. They are simple agreements that for decades, mothers and fathers around the world have been trying to instill in their children. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, communication broke down bringing evils such as; negativity, anger, jealousy, hatred, war and greed. Imagine for a moment, a world where we all lived by the following agreements. Agreement one; be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. We should listen twice as much as we speak, that is why God made us with two ears and one mouth. Profound, yes? Pretty simple, but tough to do. Agreement two; Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. You are responsible for your own destiny. Only you have control of how you will react or not react to a situation. This is something that I am trying to infuse in Alexa (now 11 years old) while she is entering the age of peer pressure and influence. Thankfully, she still has time to learn that when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of endless suffering. Agreement three; Don’t make assumptions. Ruiz implores his readers to communicate clearly with others to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Agreement Four; Always do your best. Is this not what we all learn from an early age? Whether learning to walk, talk or read, words of encouragement are whispered, 'Keep it up, 'Well done,' 'You can do it.' When your eight year old is stressed out about the upcoming math test, you say “Just do your best.” When you are running the first 5km race of your life, you think, “I just want to finish.” If we consider simply doing our best in every situation we will avoid self-judgment, self abuse and regret. Think about all the things that give you stress in your life. Many of these stressors are caused by outside sources that we have no control over. The only certainty is that we control our own destiny. By truly living and believing in these four very straightforward agreements, one can live a more fulfilled and peaceful life. This is just a little reminder of something we already know, the trick is putting into unwaivering practice.